This post recounts the June 'Way to Iron Commenter' experience.
ICLW Day 1 Tally : 1 - 25 (-11, my blog)
ICLW Day 2 Tally : 1 - 61 (-11, my blog)
ICLW Day 3 Tally : 1 - 83 (-11, my blog)
ICLW Day 4 Tally : 1 - 129 (-11, my blog)
I had finished the entire list on June 24th!
This June, I have added two new blogs to my blogroll from the ICLW list. And that means that I shall be following their blog paths from now on.
There are certain mundane points that have risen/and not risen out of this ICLW experience.
(If you are feeling sensitive today, it is a nice idea to not read ahead.)
a. Humour does not make a blog great. Honesty does.
b. Suppose you read this XYZ blog, where the blogger is in a bad place right now and is asking for prayers/good wishes.
What do you do really? Would you just type - "Best Wishes/ Prayers/ You are in my thoughts and a HUG" ?
I ended up folding hands and thinking of the blogger and praying hard.
Now the fact is that two of all those for whom I really hoped, did not eventually have positive outcomes. And I am sure that it must be so hard for them, and that they hurt.
But how do you reconcile yourself to that emotion?
c. Totally non-ICLW issue: You keep on commenting on somebody's blog. Initially very enthusiastically, and then sporadically, but the other blogger has never commented/responded back.
You like their blog. But you can't understand why an experienced blogger such as them would not comment back, not even once?
What would you say to that?
^WiseGuy^
Image Courtesy: http://whatscookingamerica.net/Foto4/LemonJuice3.jpg
22 comments:
Way to go on the Iron!
I don't know about the commenting thing. That's the great thing about having ADD I forget who I have posted to so I don't notice when they don't stop by my page.
I think that it's not worth commenting unless you're going to be sincere. I don't do ICLW unless I know I'll be able to put my all into it. I'm not a big fan of the insincere hugs and best wishes. You're totally right - sincerity is the key... Both in writing a blog, and in commenting on them. :)
Awesome work for ICLW.
I subscribe to A LOT of blogs.
95 % of those dont ever comment back, or read my blog.
I can understand though, we are from totally different words.
I think it would be that it would be different if I shared more in common with some of the people I subscribe too.
However, I have found a lot of awesome people through ICLW, and not recieving comments wouldn't stop me from participating.
Sometimes its very hard to leave a sincere comment, because I subscribe to so many blogs.. I often read news that isn't so good.
Sometimes a silent prayer and thought is better than a comment that can be percieved as being insincere as I don't want to offend.
Caragh
------ADDED------
Nopes, I am NOT speaking of people who did not comment back in ICLW. I am talking outside the ICLW, routine-blog patrol thing.
Congrats on making Iron again! I actually tried this month but it didn't work out.
Personally, I'm better about returning comments during ICLW, but even then there are many people whose comments I've never returned. One issue I've faced is that when I've gone to some people's blogs, there's really nothing substantive for me to say -- esp. when their blog content is not IF-related and is more about day-to-day life.
Another issue is that I'm very good about reading and commenting on blogs on my Reader list (about 100, including my Clicker duties) but I rarely have extra time to read or comment beyond that. If someone isn't on my list, I often just can't manage the time to click over, read, and comment, unless they comment pretty often on my blog.
As a reader, though, I do like it when people respond to my comments or start commenting on my blog, and when I comment very regularly and never hear from someone for months, I often have the same reaction and give up on them (unless their blog is so fantastic that I just can't resist, which has happened in a few cases). A double standard, yes, but ultimately returning comments is a lower priority for me than writing my own posts and reading/commenting on the 100 blogs on my list. Whether that's right, I don't know.
Oh and by the way, as you already know but can clearly see by the above comment, my comments (like my posts) tend to be very long, which means quality over quantity for me. I would rather not leave a comment at all than say "Great post!" or something like that, but I realize that some people would rather hear a pre-fab comment than silence.
Interesting thoughts! And congrats on the iron commenting! Good on ya' ! I hope it was not me who didn't comment back! I lose track of all my comments sometimes. I love so many blogs and try and keep up with commenting on the regular. Your comments on my blog have always been great and very appreciated. I recently added you to my blog roll and I look forward to following you more!
Congrats on the iron commenting!! That is a feat!
I understand what you mean about commenting regularly on someone's blog for a long time and never getting anything back. It is hard to know what to do in that situation. It's frustrating. I understand that some people are busy, but you'd think at least once they could stop by and say something, and sometimes you just don't know what to say to someone and that is okay. Sigh...
Really good thoughts on the commenting dilemma.
RE: #3. Personally, I *always* comment on someone's blog if they comment on mine. I appreciate their time and like to check them out -- if they saw something in my blog that moved them to post, I'm sure I will connect with something on their blog, too!
So it does hurt a little when I post comments (frequently or always) on someone's blog and they don't respond to mine. In those cases, like you said, I will probably be less frequent with my commenting, because I don't have tons of time and prefer to take the extra minutes to respond to people with whom I am actually having a DIALOG with.
That being said, I do my best to remember that I am posting my blog entries AS WELL AS my comments because *I* want to. Not because I am seeking a return "favor." I need to adjust my expectations, be grateful for the comments I do get, and walk through blogland being true to myself.
Not sure what just happened, but you may get two comments from me!
Congrats on IRON COMMENTER status! I know how hard ICLW can be and I've never even come close to being an iron commenter. You have my admiration!
I think there is a lot to be said for thinking of a blogger and sending them a prayer. There are many sad/difficult blog posts I haven't commented on because I couldn't come up with what I felt was an appropriate comment or because I didn't want them to feel I didn't 'understand' what they were going through because I happen to be pregnant. But I still hold them tight in my heart.
b. I don't know how to reconcile. I don't know if I was one of the ones you were speaking about...
Maybe it's like all of the unanswered prayers for my little embie are falling down and surrounding me right now. Maybe that's why even though this hurts so bad and I don't know how I'm going to make it, or if I'll ever have a child, somehow, I feel carried by love and supported by so many wonderful people. Maybe that's why I'm not standing on a ledge.
I have a feeling you did close your eyes and pray hard. Thank you so, so much. It wasn't for nothing, even if our little embie didn't make it.
I'm sorry if this is a heavy comment, I just was moved by your question.
Congrats on being an Iron Commenter again! :)
I, too, always bow my head and say a prayer when I read someone asking for prayers.
This was my first month doing ICLW and it was an eye opening experience. I wish I had made more time to read through all the blogs.
I tend to be a pretty honest and sensitive person. I'm not going to same something to someone that I don't mean. It isn't always what the person wants to hear, but that is how I roll. If I am sending someone virtual hugs and prayers, Lord knows I would love on them in real life and that I am praying. It is hard not to become emotionally attached to the blogs I read, which is why I don't/won't read a lot.
I am a bit perturbed by a blog that I have followed for almost a year now and comment very regularly, yet not even a boo on mine. Hurts a bit, but I will try to get over it. Perhaps she is just in such a different place then me that she just isn't comfortable coming over? Who knows.
I am glad I stumbled across yours during ICLW and I really appreciate your honesty.
congrats on the iron commenter status
Honestly, I haven't done it to you, but I'm sure I've done the lack of commenting thing to others. I have recieved a lot of support from many corners, and I know I haven't answered every comment.
I hope I haven't made people feel bad. You have inspired me to try to be more diligent (in a non-self-berating way, of course). :)
I think it is nice to say that you are thinking of them or are praying for them, but only if it's true.
It is discouraging when you comment on a persons blog and they never return a comment, not event to say, "hey thanks for commenting."
Congrats on going iron once again!!
As for the comments issue, I'm not sure how I feel. I guess I mostly comment on posts that speak to me because I don't just want to leave a generic post. However, sometimes a generic hugs comment is appropriate, especially when you're commenting on that blog for the first time.
I do wish more people would reciprocate and post on my blog but you can only lead a horse to water - can't make 'em drink, right?
I think I get a bit more hurt when I sign up to follow someone's blog and they maybe don't give me that same chance back. Often I've signed up to follow their blogs on the basis of one post just because I really enjoy the energy of it and want to give it a shot.
Anyway, that's my 2 cents for what it's worth.
I follow well over 200 blogs in my reader (not in blogger)...and I read them daily. I'm not always in the mood to comment, unless I find something particularly moving.
I also couldn't possibly return all comments, though I try to leave occassional comments even on blogs I don't comment on regularly...but alas, we are all different--I completely accept that not everyone I read will read me...and in fact, there is one blogger in particular who I have read for a LONG time, who has never ever not even once returned one of my many comments.
It's ok, because really, we just CLICK with some people, and don't with others. I also don't think experience has anything to do with it. The blogger that has never returned my comments is entirely more experienced than me. She's probably just busy, or maybe my blog just plain doesn't suit her fancy....such is life.
There are some blogs I don't read, because I just can't get 'into' them....we're just all different is all I can say. I do, on occassion, leave little one or two word comments so people will know I'm still out there, reading also if not always commenting. But I, like you, don't always care to leave insincere one word snippets.
But....in addition to daily blogging I have a very full time job....I do what I can.
When I read a blog and I say I'm sending prayers, good thoughts and a hug their way, I mean it! Before I hit the button to post the comment, I always am wishing them well. If you're speaking of the 2 bloggers that I think you are and both of whos cycles failed this month, I can't give you any advice, because I was honestly heart broken. Not becuase I felt I put so much energy into them but because i WANTED their cycles NOT to fail. I'm horribly sad that the outcomes were not what we wanted and I don't even know where to go from here. I've been thinking and hoping and wishing for an answer, but I haven't gotten one yet. Almost every night, I've been sending my best wishes to them.
*HUGS*
I think that commenting and getting commenting goes both ways BUT sometimes the person you read is going through something that you just cannot connect with - in that case IMO a non comment is better than one that comes across as insincere...
But an actual prayer or thought of good health always goes a long way.
xxx
I could see where it would get annoying if I were to consistently comment on a person's blog and never once hear anything back (as Chelle said, a simple "thanks for the comment" works and takes very litle effort"
However, I do read some just because I like them and don't really look for return comments. As well, would I blog if I knew no one read mine? People keep journals and diaries just to put thoughts down and so forth, not so much to be read by anyone.
As for ICLW -June was my first - I do mean well if I offer positive thoughts and such, but as I am "done" with our IF I have the tendency to resist posting since I'm not sure if people currently TTC would want to check out who I am to find me as a current mother (if that makes sense) However, I'm sure there are probably a lot of current IF'ers that would like to see a positive-ending to at TTC story so maybe I should comment more on those blogs.
Congrats you "Iron Commenter" you! (picture a friendly jab to your shoulder). sooooo .....how's the PhD coming along? =)
I've had a long and possibly boring post on Babysmiling's TT post about returning comments. But unlike you (yes, you're very sweet) - I don't read a vast variety of blogs that don't fall - somehow or the other - into the IF category. And I agree with Babysmiling's comments too. Sometimes I don't say anything, because I'd rather get two substantial lines of comments, than an insincere (or semi-sincere)one or two words. Having said that... I'd rather leave no comment (as the previous posters said) than coming off as being insincere on someone's blog,especially when I can't identify with them in any way, however small the thing is that we have in common.
Keep up the commenting...and hope work is behaving for you! Have a good w/e.
S
I don't think I would care. I like comments on my blog, but I write a blog to help clear my head. I would still write it if I had no readers.
I feel like I have made some friends through blogging but above all I feel that blogging has helped me sort out my feelings about IF so they don't get out of hand in real life.
Twice I have read blog posts that moved me so much that I felt like there was nothing I could say.
Blogging is personal and to me, not a tit for tat kind of thing.
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